oh mtv 'news'

so apparently pro wrestler diamond dallas has decided to sue jay-z for stealing his patented 'diamond cutter' hand signal. dallas claims that he's had enough of people coming up to him and accusing him of "using jay-z's sign," when he was actually the first to use it.


which means its time for another
LIST OF WHY THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
first of all, jay-z stole a hand signal from a PRO WRESTLER? what?
secondly, there's a pro wrestler named diamond dallas? maybe its just me, but that sounds like more of a porn star cowgirl than a pro wrestler.
third of all, this dallas character just came out with a new book called "yoga for regular guys: the best damn workout on the planet!" a workout BOOK? a workout book for MEN about YOGA? somebody sure missed the boat on this one.
fourth, dallas' lawyer claims that "if you look at [jay-z's] 'encore' video, you can see fans using the 'diamond cutter' sign, and in videos of diamond dallas ... if you only looked at the fans from both those tapes, you'd think it's the same person performing." right, cuz i'm sure jay-z and a pro wrestler named diamond really draw from the same demographic.
fifth of all, raise your hand if you care.

plus, if diamond is really going to sue people for 'stealing his sign,' he should at least include all offenders. namely, delta delta delta sorority and any kindergarden teacher trying to teach their students SHAPES.